it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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