I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
