So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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