Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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