it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
