I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
