I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
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