im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
