So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
vagina is talking i cant
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she pinky promised me she was 18
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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