R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
