if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
