Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
