so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
