Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
