He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
