I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
