So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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