i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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