It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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