I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
