we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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