This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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