Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
