I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thus making me awesome and them whores
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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