He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
