I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
