He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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