why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
