and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
