Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
