I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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