I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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