I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
