I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
