Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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