Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
