Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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