I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
