Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
