Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm getting married
To pizza
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
