I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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