It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
where am i from again
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Randomize
