ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
