WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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