Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
