True but thats because hes a fetus.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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