That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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