Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
