she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
