Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
